THANKSGIVING MEMORIES MAKE US SMILE

“Hi! Good to see you!  So glad you could make it!  Welcome!  Come inside.  How the children have grown!”  Welcome and hugs start the day!

Families in the USA often do not fully gather except at funerals.  Sometimes at weddings, however, those have become smaller events due to the rising cost.  But there is another time for a happy gathering. It is called Thanksgiving!  In my family this often includes a lot of extended family such as siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins and now grandchildren.  Those who cannot come sometimes call and say hello to everyone.  There is prearranged dining place.  Most often it is a family home, but there have been times when the family dined out at a restaurant.  A few times we dined at a nursing home with elderly parents who could not travel.  In 2010 a local community leader desired hosting community feast for our county.  I went to a meeting and realized he had a great idea but did not know how to execute it.  David, a chef, used to always work on that day, but had recently been working at a company that was closed Thanksgiving. He loved being off and relaxing for a change. I went home and asked the big question: “Will you help them?” He joined the team and provided vital information on how to pull off an event when you don’t even know how many will arrive to eat.  That first year we set up on Wednesday and started accepting food donations.  Then we came back Thursday at 5:00 AM to prepare. There was a guy outside smoking all the turkeys. David stood for 2 hours carving up 40 Turkeys, all the while directing the volunteers on how to arrange and plate the food that was arriving from various churches. I was his assistant grabbing turkeys from the smoker and checking on the servers who might need another casserole when one dish was emptied.  For a span of 4 years, we joined volunteers at that civic center and helped feed our community with food provided by all churches in the area. The home bakers would just make extra casseroles while preparing for their family and deliver them very early. We estimated how much we needed and always had some left.  That food was delivered to city shelters.  We would feed about 400 people and come late to our family party just in time for dessert!  This event is still going on each year with new younger volunteers.  It is free to the public.

Thanksgiving is an all-inclusive event.  If a neighbor nearby is alone, they become extended family, adopted for the day.  The meal is served between noon and four PM.  In my large extended family, the crowd could be 20 or more with everyone bringing their specialty dish. The host family might also give out food assignments in advance to avoid duplication of dishes. Our assignment was cranberry relish, green bean or sweet potato casserole and a dessert. I am sure I made at least one bourbon pecan pie.  At the appointed time we would gather in a circle and have a prayer of gratitude for all our blessings and to bless the food.  Some of us would attend a special Wednesday worship and share things we were grateful for at the service.  On Thanksgiving Sunday, the hymns reflect the holiday with songs like “We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing.”  Our family would try to get a group picture and some candid shots of everyone chatting and the children at play.

The first Thanksgivings in the United States started when the early settlers met for an end of harvest meal with the native Indians sometime in the 1600’s.  There is debate over when it started and where depending on your state.   The consensus is Massachusetts, but some Virginians think it was there.  It also happens beyond the USA borders and on other dates.

In 1863 US President Abraham Lincoln declared the fourth Thursday in November as the official annual national holiday for the USA, meaning all regular businesses should close to give employees the day off to be with family.  To this day it is a time for families across America to sit together for a big meal.  As part of the day there are a variety of traditions some families observe in addition to the meal. Some watch the Macy’s Parade televised from New York or football game.  For pet lovers there is the National Dog Show.  Kids play outside when the weather permits.  Adults catch up with relatives and friends they may not have seen for a year or more.  Some people nap after the large meal.

The meal starts with the star: a large oven roasted turkey.  There could also be some ham.  Gravy is made from the turkey drippings.  There will be a variety of sides, but the mainstays are mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean mushroom casserole, cranberry sauce or relish, rolls and pumpkin or other pie for dessert.  Beverages vary. My cousins home made rolls were being made while we visited. The smell of turkey and warm bread would make our mouths water with anticipation.  So some of us ate the rolls while we waited for the main event!

Although Friday is not a holiday many people make it a long weekend and take that day off for shopping.  It is known in business as Black Friday because it is the kickoff for the Christmas shopping season.  Business owners make a lot of money on that day so they are “in the black” financially.  Some stores will open at 6 AM and have special sales to get the most out of this big day.  Early shoppers may even get good deals online that day. One year I did an early shop with my cousin at a local department store.  It was filled with women at 6 in the morning!

Another part of the holiday is traveling.  This is one of the busiest travel weekends of the year.  Before we moved near family we would drive for 2 hours in heavy traffic from our home in Maryland to Virginia and stay for the entire weekend with a relative.  Sometimes we would bring early Christmas gifts if that was the only time we would see them.  As out-of-town guests, in addition to the big meal, we may also have breakfast and delicious leftovers together that weekend.  It was during one of those visits we decided to move to Virginia and be closer. We lived in Virginia for over 30 years before our big move to Hungary in 2024.  This year we will be calling our relatives and sending photos back and forth.  In addition to the Virginia children, grandchildren and cousins, we have family in Pennsylvania, Delaware, Georgia, Florida and California. Calls, Facebook and text messages will keep us connected. I am so grateful for the times we have been able to be together in person and still stay in touch via long distance.

As I write, and share with David for his edits, we are smiling thankfully about all the wonderful memories.  FYI I did purchase 2 turkey legs and plan to make a smaller version of the big dinner for the two of us.  We are also planning a small party in early December for local clients and new friends. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all our family and friends far and wide and thanks for the memories!

Love, Patty & David

Some Thanksgiving music:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvhIaFtmpkU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUZD0hgtSgE