The silence was deafening

The silence was deafening.

I could hear a pin drop.

These are some American ways of expressing an uncomfortable interruption in a conversation.  I’ll come back to that in a minute.

My backstory:  I started teaching English as Second Language or ESL first to an international engineering student, then as a vocation in my new country home. They were adults with formulated opinions and ideas. Later I was asked to work with teenagers.  I may even take on a younger child soon.  I used to teach young kids in Sunday school and worked with teens for a short time.  I have 2 adult children and 2 grandchildren.  But ESL is different in situations with teens from another culture who may or may not have been raised as I was. 

I recently mentioned the term “world view” to one of them, and realized I was in uncharted territory. I had to explain that we all have differing points of view based on how we were raised and how we believe.  This came about when we were discussing the latest newsworthy topic: AI. 

When I think of AI I am reminded of 2001, a Space Odyssey.  This was an old sci-fi film about a man and a computer driven spacecraft.  The computer referred to as HAL has conversations with Dave, the man.  Eventually HAL wants to have control.  In a recent TED video, Yoshua Bengio gave a talk entitled “The Catastrophic Risks of AI — and a Safer Path.”  Mr. Bengio who is a pioneer in his field of computer science, says we need to wake up and pay attention to what is coming.  He is right and we need to be able to talk about how we feel about this and other issues.

I just read a story about a Vietnam vet who gives a talk at his grandson’s high school.  He talks about death which upsets some people.  But the students tell the school leaders they appreciate what the man shared and they want a safe place to express their opinions on scary and uncomfortable topics.  They want to ask questions.  They don’t want to be shut down when they bring up controversial topics. They do not want to feel isolated and lonely. As I child I remember being shut down.  I know others who felt so shut down that they wanted to check out if you know what I mean.  Teens especially need to know they can express their thoughts safely.  While we should be careful to keep some thoughts private, we should not feel we can never share what’s on our hearts and minds. It is very lonely not having anyone listen to you especially when you are down. 

I confess I struggle when I hear from depressed people as I am usually upbeat.  There are a few of them on one of my group Facebook pages.  It is a place for those with Low Vision to share and support each other.  Some have no hobbies and no friends and ask what to do to overcome their negative feelings.  I have dealt with vision challenges so long, it is not that much a struggle for me.  I decided a long time ago I would know when I should stop driving. I stopped July 31, 2024 and sold my car before we moved.  I am blessed to have a spouse who can see and drive, but I also decided taxis work just fine if I must travel alone to an appointment.  I want to acknowledge those who suddenly faced vision loss.  Dealing with this must be overwhelming later in life!  But I know there are a lot of recourses because I have a blind friend who educated me about this.  I hope you can get the support you need.

Back to the deafening silence:  When your teen makes a statement that you don’t agree with.  Or says something shocking or very scary, try not to instantly react.  Ask more questions.  Don’t have an instant coffee response.  We are so used to the instant world of everything.  We google ask AI and immediately problem solved.  Life’s questions deserve a little more time.  Scared, lonely or depressed people need your attention.  Maybe they’re just curious, but that too is an opportunity to share ideas and understand there can be more that one point of view.  It may not be right or wrong if it is an opinion.

Question the narrative.  Be a critical thinker.  And allow room for others to do the same.

I wish someone told me that when I was younger.  I wish I had explained that to my own kids.  Sorry, kids.  I am still learning.

I spoke about my world view in another post I wrote on Valentines 2026.  My view affects how I see AI.

AI is a tool that can be used in a positive or negative way. But it is not your friend.  We all need human connections. I am still learning to be a better listener, too. In a world where there is so much noise and educational systems are failing, I feel a serious responsibility to help the young people I meet learn to think for themselves.

I hear “I’m sorry” a lot from my teen students when they make a mistake.  I try to reassure them it is okay and part of the learning process.  But here achievement is important.  They must memorize and get very good grades to get to the university. I was not a good memorizer so that would have stressed me greatly.

In the USA teachers have been required to teach SOL (Standards of Learning) information and we refer to this as teaching to the test.  Whether regurgitating fact or fiction, it must agree with the SOL.

My daughter took her child out of school and is homeschooling.  This was good news to me. I know there are still dedicated good teachers, but the system is not good.  That is problematic in many places.  A male teacher in Ireland went to jail because he would not bow to the woke agenda due to his world view. We desperately need principled men to lead young people. I hope his students see by his example how important it is to stand for something.

Think I can hear a pin drop.